Note.–In order to heighten good feeling between passengers and the men working the cars, the following set of rules have been formulated. If not adopted by the tramway's managers, and posted in the cars, it will not be because the rules are not necessary:–

1. Never be in a hurry. You have plenty of time and no one else counts.
2. Always make the tram stop specially for you, even if to do so requires that you separate yourself from others waiting. It makes you feel as if the tram belongs to you.
3. Enter a car by the furthest entrance by walking slowly from one end to the other and round again to where you started; you get exercise before rest.
4. Leave a car by furthest exit. In moving, go slowly, as if you were departing from a good home.
5. If you so desire you need not complete your toilet before catching your car. Conductors carry safety pins.
6. In giving children cakes or sweets, passengers are invited to leave liberal samples on the seats. Don't be mean.
7. Young lady passengers who are being seen to the tram should not delay for the kissing. Most of the staff are guaranteed adept at osculatory exercises.
8. Umbrellas should be kept in such a way that they cannot be missed. They are excellent trippers.
9. In travelling with a child you should always escape paying half fare whilst the child is in short clothes. They prove it is under three. Half-fare ceases when the children begin courting.
10. In tendering fares, never state your journey or what you require. Conductors must know what you want; they are paid for being thought-readers.
11. When desiring to stop pull the conductor's coat or butt him with your umbrella. That's what he's there for.

No comments: