Bagatelles

Oh, news of wonder ! news of joy,
To gossips through the nation !
'Twill Rumour's hundred tongues employ,
And cause a great sensation.

Scandal was wont to travel post ;
But she'll disdain that stale way,
When she shall hear her vot'ries boast
Of railing by the railway.

Think how delightful, thus to send
The on-dit of the minute
To some dear sympathising friend,
Who'll take an interest in it !

Who, should this novel plan proceed,
May, in her turn, convey it
To ears attent, on Thames or Tweed,
As quick as she can say it.

Grave folk, indeed, who value fame,
May dread this rare invention :
I care not; bo it theirs to blame,
While I go on to mention

How lovers, doom'd by fate to part,
May thus hold sweet communion,
Pour forth each feeling of the heart,    
Or plan a private union.    

No need of writing—billets-doux  
Will go quite out of fashion,
When tubes, that sound the gossip's news,
Shall breathe the lover's passion.

No letters passing ! Pause and think,
Ye rulers of the nation,
How long the revenue might sink
Through such a defalcation !

Yet ways and means might be devised
The due supplies to handle:
Yes! ministers might be advised
To lay a tax on scandal !

Notes

The Sydney Gazette and New South Wales Advertiser Thursday 13 October 1831 p.4

http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article2203052

Select Poetry

BAGATELLES, BY MRS. CAREY.

(From the Literary Gazette.)    

ON THE PROPOSED MODE OF CONVEYING ARTICULATE SOUNDS THROUH THE MANCHESTER AND LIVERPOOL RAILWAY.